August 14, 2012

The Five Stages of Fanhood

Success has changed the way many fans, including myself, watch the Phillies. When reflecting upon the amount of hours I’ve logged watching the team this season with those of yesteryear, there probably isn’t much difference. But in losing seasons, never before have I felt losses, and I mean fist-clenched, red-faced, thrown-remote-at-dog felt losses (apologies to Harry, my pup). In fact my DIRIP (dogs impacted by remotes in play) is exceptionally high in 2012, and believe me the sample is large enough to draw conclusions. But that is beside the point, for after the hope for change, then rage at the stagnancy, then shameless begging, and finally the downward emotional spiral, I’ve learned to accept, and even love this Phillies team. I want to take you across the spectrum of emotions that I, and am sure many of you, have felt across this extremely underwhelming season. This season-long struggle can be documented in Phillies 2012: The Five Stages of Fanhood.

Stage One: Denial

Approaching this season, the Phil’s were favorites to win the NL East and go balls-deep into the playoffs. Fans and players alike were hopeful for another shot at the World Series. After a characteristically slow start, we still held out faith that with the return of sluggernauts Chase Utley and Ryan Howard would come a tsunami of wins to drown the notion of a lackluster ballclub. And when disappointment continued, the denial intensified, and denial intensified into numbness, and numbness into rage.

Stage Two: Anger

"Really? REEALY? Mike Fontenot and Ty Wiggington in the same goddamn infield? And this bullpen-this isn't even a bullpen; no they don't even deserve that, this is a f*cking calfpen. Yeah, I'm talking to you Bastardo. Just cause you don't have a dad doesn't make it OK to walk every friggin’ batter you face. You hear me? Jimmy, would it kill you to take the first pitch every once in a while? And JP Beastmode? What kind of stupid name is that? More like JP BUNTSmode. And Mayberry, I don't remember yayberrying to a right-handed pitcher since like....ever. What the hell happened to yous guys? Win a goddamn game. C'mon."

*throws remote at dog*

Stage Three: Bargaining

The Phillies become sellers Ruben Amaro trades Hunter Pence and Shane Victorino to the Giants and Dodgers respectively, and later Joenut Blanton to the Dodgers for the similarly-built Michelin Man and a couple of hardworking stadium custodians. Hopeful fans cling unreasonably to a miracle comeback. Chris Wheeler continues to be a horrific broadcaster, and all is wrong with the world. I'd give anything to see the Phillies return to their former glory, to remove these AAA players (and announcers) from Citizen's Bank Ballpark, to make the playoffs, to win the NLCS, to win the World Series. Anything.

Stage Four: Depression

Reality sank in. The 2012 Philadelphia Phillies will not be World Champions. They will not be in the playoffs for the first time since 2006. There will be no Red October. There will be no parade. No happiness. No sunshine, ever again. The gravity of this truth places a black hole where the heart of Philadelphia used to be. The beacon of light that once emanated from CBP has burned out and left behind a desolate wasteland permeated by the smell of stale beer, peanut shells and children's tears. The Phanatic, who survives only by the spirit of the fans, can no longer maintain his nutrition and is down to a gaunt 325 pounds. Things are bad in Philadelphia, and they will never be the same.

Stage Five: Acceptance

While this season has gone grim, the Phillies organization did not completely crumble. It was sad to see some players go, but hope lingers in the afterglow of loss. By selling, the Phillies have bought themselves time to retool with new players and reevaluate the current veterans while allowing opportunities for youngsters to showcase their skills. The bandwagon has come and gone, and for the first time in an apparent eternity fans can snag cheap tickets for a night at the ballpark. Perhaps even the ever-smug Ruben Amaro has been put in his place, but that may be looking a little too broadly at the bright side. Regardless, good things are sure to come-if not immediately, soon. 


Anonymous said...

great post!

Coach Factory said...

oakley sunglasses outlet, ray bans, raybans, canada goose outlet, canada goose, oakley sunglasses cheap, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses outlet, moncler outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, cheap sunglasses, louboutin, rayban, oakley, rayban, tn pas cher, ugg, discount oakley sunglasses, oakley outlet, canada goose, ray ban, oakley vault, canada goose outlet, ugg boots, ray ban, oakley sunglasses cheap, cheap sunglasses, oakley vault, gucci, moncler, cheap sunglasses, ray ban outlet, ray ban, ray-ban, cheap oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses cheap, oakley outlet, oakley sunglasses outlet, cheap oakley, oakley vault, moncler, oakley outlet, ray bans, moncler, canada goose, ray ban outlet, canada goose, ralph lauren, oakley sunglasses outlet

Coach Factory said...

insanity, soccer jerseys, juicy couture outlet, marc jacobs, nike free, bottega veneta, louis vuitton, mont blanc, supra shoes, rolex watches, ferragamo shoes, ugg boots, asics gel, burberry, vans, chi flat iron, louis vuitton, reebok outlet, hollister, timberland, p90x3, air max, wedding dresses, mulberry, lululemon, nfl jerseys, celine handbags, nike air max, jimmy choo, valentino shoes, lancel, ugg boots, oakley pas cher, north face outlet, karen millen, montre pas cher, yoga pants, birkin bag, hogan, ghd, ray ban pas cher, soccer shoes, ralph lauren, new balance shoes, abercrombie and fitch, herve leger, beats by dre, hermes, converse shoes, mcm handbags

Coach Factory said...

michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton outlet online, toms shoes, oakley sunglasses, true religion outlet, coach factory, longchamp outlet, gucci outlet, true religion, coach purses, coach outlet, air jordan, louboutin, true religion jeans, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, nike air max, nike shoes, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, louboutin, air max, nike free, nike free, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, michael kors, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors, tiffany and co, prada handbags, ray ban, nike air max, louis vuitton handbags, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin, michael kors, jordan shoes, longchamp, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, coach outlet store, air max, polo ralph lauren outlet, tory burch outlet, ralph lauren,

co wendy said...

The christian louboutin remise 50% Russian Foreign Ministry christian louboutin shoes said the annual report in 2014 on the 27th diplomatic released the following Discount LV Handbags year Foreign Policy, which the European goodwill signals: Despite Air Jordan 11 Gamma Blue Russia's Cheap Louis Vuitton Handbags relations ugg boots situation is complicated, but the Cheap LV Handbags relationship with the EU "will become the next few years, the objective One of the priorities of Russian foreign policy. "The report notes that although the January 2014 Russian-European summit in Brussels, the European Union cheap christian louboutin expressed its Discount Louis Vuitton willingness to continue an active dialogue, avoid intensifying the conflict, but Christian Louboutin Daffodile since then the relationship between Russia and Europe is still caught in a deep turmoil. uggs on sale The EU suspended in most areas of bilateral cooperation, Russia discount christian louboutin many companies, politicians and industry to implement unilateral economic Christian Louboutin Bois Dore sanctions; accordingly, Russia also for EU member states to implement a one-year agricultural product restrictions, and sets out specific "ban list."Right now, the Russian-European trade volume continues to cut ugg against the trade and energy sector is deepening. However, the interaction between Russia and the European Union under the "Border Cooperation Programme" framework continues, most ugg pas cher of the project border wholesale jordan shoes cooperation program has been extended christian louboutin until the end of 2015, while the two sides also agreed to further future cooperation discount nike jordans projects in 2020. cheap jordans Russo mutually Bags Louis Vuitton beneficial cooperation in the fields of uggs outlet science, technology and innovation continues, in ugg australia 2014 successfully ugg soldes held the "E Ouke cheap nike jordan shoes school year."

jjs lin said...

jordan shoes
jordan shoes
tod's shoes
tod's sale
adidas shoes
adidas wings
toms outlet
toms shoes outlet online
kobe 9 shoes
timberland outlet
christian louboutin outlet
christian louboutin shoes
fitflop sandals
hollister clothing
hollister clothing store
abercrombie outlet
abercrombie outlet
hollister clothing
true religion
true religion outlet
polo ralph lauren
ralph lauren outlet online
ralph lauren
lululemon outlet online
nfl jerseys wholesale
nba jerseys wholesale
mlb jerseys wholesale
nhl jerseys wholesale
snapback hats wholesale

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 11.28
nike free, louis vuitton outlet, ray ban sunglasses, burberry outlet online, ugg boots, replica watches, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, louboutin, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, burberry, louis vuitton, louboutin outlet, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, replica watches, chanel handbags, nike outlet, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, nike air max, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, nike air max, prada outlet, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, ray ban sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ugg boots, longchamp, michael kors outlet, gucci outlet

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban uk, oakley pas cher, vans pas cher, longchamp, coach outlet, true religion outlet, true religion jeans, nike huarache, mulberry, true religion jeans, north face, hollister, nike free, air max, coach purses, michael kors, new balance pas cher, sac guess, hermes, converse pas cher, air jordan pas cher, sac longchamp, nike air max, nike air max, burberry, hollister pas cher, hogan, lululemon, michael kors, nike air max, michael kors, air force, nike roshe, nike free run uk, ralph lauren pas cher, louboutin pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban pas cher, michael kors, nike roshe run, timberland, coach factory outlet, vanessa bruno, lacoste pas cher, nike trainers, nike blazer, abercrombie and fitch, north face, true religion jeans, longchamp pas cher, ralph lauren uk

ninest123 Ninest said...

baseball bats, birkin bag, soccer jerseys, iphone 5s cases, asics running shoes, north face outlet, insanity workout, timberland boots, ghd, oakley, iphone 6 plus cases, reebok shoes, p90x workout, louboutin, hollister, iphone 6s cases, new balance, mac cosmetics, ipad cases, mcm handbags, s5 cases, celine handbags, ray ban, nike roshe, ralph lauren, north face outlet, ferragamo shoes, iphone cases, nike air max, valentino shoes, lululemon, nfl jerseys, vans shoes, hollister, wedding dresses, instyler, vans, iphone 6 cases, giuseppe zanotti, bottega veneta, mont blanc, iphone 6s plus cases, abercrombie and fitch, beats by dre, jimmy choo shoes, nike air max, herve leger, soccer shoes, chi flat iron, converse, gucci, babyliss

ninest123 Ninest said...

pandora jewelry, sac louis vuitton pas cher, michael kors outlet, moncler, moncler, louis vuitton, montre pas cher, links of london, moncler, bottes ugg, hollister, moncler, supra shoes, canada goose, ugg pas cher, karen millen, swarovski, coach outlet, juicy couture outlet, replica watches, canada goose, barbour, pandora charms, barbour jackets, louis vuitton, canada goose, moncler, uggs outlet, doudoune canada goose, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, swarovski crystal, pandora charms, canada goose uk, canada goose outlet, canada goose, ugg boots uk, converse outlet, pandora jewelry, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, marc jacobs, moncler, thomas sabo, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler outlet, lancel, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet
ninest123 11.28